Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
