You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I've blown a few things in my day
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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