haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
