what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
