I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize