Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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