Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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