i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize