I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
