dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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