4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
This house was built for laser tag.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
