The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
