He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
