3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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