I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
