I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
