I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
