It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
