OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
