I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
