belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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