What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
