he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize