I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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