Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
