garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
