He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize