i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
