I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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