Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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