You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
