Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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