If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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