Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
