oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
