so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
