R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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