So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I met the friendliest cop last night
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
