He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
