How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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