who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
