How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
