The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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