In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
