i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
