Banned from zoo.
Again?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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