i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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