Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize