Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
