let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
