I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize