I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize