your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
