Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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