I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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