Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
