its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize