i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
