I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
