i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
