everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
