just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
