She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
