I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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