And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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