have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
