But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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