I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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