I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
as a side note pls kill me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
