My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
