I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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