Kiss
Puke
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
