i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
